At a time when abortion rights, nurses in schools, birth control, and other issues regarding human sexual conduct and its repercussions are important topics, I believe something is being lost in the frenzy.
We have had sex education in the public school systems for a number of years. There is an ongoing argument as to whether birth control, abstinence, or a combination of both should be taught. Do we accept the "inevitable" and provide information about contraception, or do we preach abstinence at the expense of the reality of the number of sexually active children and the inevitable consequences?
In my opinion, birth control facts need to be taught, especially methods that protect against sexually transmitted diseases, especially AIDS. It is far easier for a person to make the decision to change a lifestyle when there are no children or deadly diseases involved. You can't forbid people from doing certain things although you can provide a good example and spend a lot of time with young people in positive ways. Birth control gives young people the chance to make decisions that will be in their best interest by giving them the opportunity to take advantage of a second chance. I believe it also forces any person considering becoming sexually active to consider their actions. Taking the time to think and, hopefully, talk with a prospective partner may contribute to making better decisions.
Still, in all of the arguments, people seem to have forgotten two very important things. First, being a virgin is not such a bad thing in its proper time. The innocent anticipation of the first intimate experience is something to be treasured. If a person becomes sexually active at 20, there are 50+ years for this aspect of life to be enjoyed. Young people in high school shouldn't be in such a hurry to give up a childhood that is lost forever once a person becomes an adult. To be sure, some people retain the secret of being forever young, but it's not the same thing. You only have one youth, and if you are young, you shouldn't be in such a hurry to give it up. It should be cherished.
The other thing that is too often forgotten is that teaching abstinence is really a waste of time. It's like teaching good health without teaching people what you have to do to achieve and maintain good health. I believe that what should be taught is self-respect. If young people are taught to like and care about themselves, they will think twice before putting themselves at risk. If they have hope for the future, they will think twice before jeopardizing it. If we can get our children to graduate high school before making physical commitments they do not understand, they will have a much better chance of making good decisions as adults.
Abstinence is a personal choice. Speaking from my own experience, a strong relationship is far easier to achieve when neither party has been promiscuous. It is also easier to look your children in the face when you try to explain why they should wait until they are well out of high school until they make such commitments.
If we concentrate on helping children become their own best friends, they will be less likely to risk their health and future because of pressure or perceived desire. They will require that their boy/girl friends take special care of them. Children who care about themselves and others will never pressure someone into having sex, nor will they succumb to that kind of pressure.
We have to care enough about our children to find a better way to help them through the maze of adolescence. We have to keep looking for other methods of teaching them how important it is for them to carefully consider their actions. This means being honest with our children... and ourselves. If we are going to include sex education in our schools, we have to do a much better job of it.
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